Mama Malkavian's House

Afterward: When I was nine years old, I took the driving course at Legoland. Kids under thirteen could get in little brick cars and drive down roads and follow traffic lights on a safe course at two miles an hour. Then we all received a congratulations and provisional Legoland driver's license with a place for our name, year and a picture. After I took the Legoland driving course, I felt so motivated to drive for real that I counted the years until I turned sixteen! I was not aware of my limitations at the time. Not achieving freedom in the form of a driver's license bothered me my entire adult life. I had recurring dreams about attempting to drive a car in the wrong seat. I felt uneasy thinking about my situation throughout my life. I kept my Legoland driver's license I received when I was nine in my wallet as a joke. I had one made at Disney World too, when I was 29.  One time, I thought it was funny to bust out my Legoland driver's license with a sticker photo of eig...

(N) Nothing. Alison is dependent for the rest of her life. It sucks. Alison can't afford to take a taxi every time she wants to go somewhere, so she relies on her friends and family a lot.  Alison is left out of bible study. No one wants to drive out of their way to take her with them. She doesn't understand and feels rejected. (O) Proceed to practice driving. No medical intervention.     (Q) Big accident on the freeway. Everybody dies. (P) Go to the doctor.     Take meds at night, reduce Latuda. Take Maxwell Driving School. Go to (J)

  Alison made the right decision. Whether the rules were different or Alison just needed to review the study guide, she's ready to actually drive a car. It is time for Alison to enroll in driving school. She opts to not have a family member or friend teach her to drive because this is a sensitive operation and she needs the best of instructors: one who can help adults with anxiety.  Maxwell Driving School in Memphis, TN changed Alison's life. Four days of a road rule and driving technique lecture class helped Alison feel more ready to hit the road. The simulator was a weird experience. She hit so many virtual deer and the instructor told he she scored fast reactions anyhow. The XBOX system simulated the craziest driving scenarios. The professional road instructors made Alison feel safe and took her through guided routes with common driving situations, such as changing lanes and crossing streets. It feels like a miracle when Alison comes out of the ordeal with a license to driv...

(K) Alison had taken and passed the permit test. She'd driven with Lee. How hard could it be? Alison scheduled a road test with the DMV. Of course, it took her weeks to get this appointment because she likes to procrastinate; she's procrastinated for 10+ years of her adult life on getting a license by this point. Alison meets the test instructor. He asks her to flip her blinker left and right and trigger her wipers. Then it's time to press the brake. Alison has done this before, but she has to ask... which one is the brake, left or right? (Hint: B is for Big and B is for brake. It's also to the left) But, of course, Alison hadn't put enough time into practicing and fails the road test.  Of course she failed! Did you think it was ever going to be this simple? Just go to (M)

How hard can an Arkansas written test be? Alison has already passed the California and Tennessee permit tests before.  Alison fails the permit test! How embarrassing. Go back to paragraph (L) over and over until Alison gets a road manual and studies for the permit test. The proctor knows her well now. Let's move past this. Yes  M

  (i) Alison is driving alongside Shelby Farms one day. There is a lot of traffic, and people are pulling all the way up just to merge at the last minute. This creates a traffic jam and slows everyone down in the long run. A car tries to pull in front of Alison. Alison is not having it and doesn’t let the lady in front of her. The lady ends up right behind Alison and is giving her angry gestures with her fingers. Alison feels intimidated. Alison drives through the intersection and turns left toward Shelby Farms. There is a long stretch of road ahead of Alison. The woman is on her tail no matter how fast she goes to get away from the crazy lady. They are both speeding down the road. Finally, Alison realizes she has to slow down to turn safely at the end of the road. This is dangerous. Alison has an angry stranger following her, and she is alone. The minute she slows down, she feels a hard smack. Alison’s head hits the back of her chair. She wants to get out of the car and inspect t...

(J) First, Alison reads the Tennessee state driver manual. Then, Alison takes the written portion of the driving test and earns a learner’s permit.        Alison has moved to Arkansas by this point. She's taking a new permit test. It should be roughly the same rules as Tennessee, right? And it's Arkansas; how hard can it be? Does Alison study for the permit test?   No (L) Yes (M)

(H) Alison is driving five miles per hour and feels like she is speeding. She can barely move left or right unless she compensates and make a sharp turn. So she speeds forward at all of five miles an hour toward a brick wall at the side of the parking lot. Alison is totally wigging out now stop-going between the brakes and the pedal. It is not going well for Alison and she feels like she will never get past this level of driving. Go to paragraph (J) if Alison persists and enrolls in driving lessons for adults with anxiety. Alison gives up, scroll up to paragraph (B) But understand, if you go to paragraph (B) again, you will spend the next ten years worrying about how Alison can't drive. In those ten years, Alison has two babies and her mom begins to age. Eventually Mom will need rides to her appointments and Alison's kids will need rides to school and such.  While Alison is pregnant with her second child, she still doesn't have a license, and her mom is doing a lot of t...

  (G) The bus can be challenging. For instance, there are weird people on the bus, like the gothic dude in a long black trench coat whose therapist told him he needed to make more friends, so he tried to introduce himself shake Alison’s hand and find out what they had in common. Alison gets that people have problems and some are unique, but making friends on the city bus with no context was too much for her and she played it off like she was a germaphobe (totally not) and would not shake the weird man’s hand. There was also the time a man asked to buy her while she waited alone at a bus stop. Graphic much? Thematic? All true, but it really happened . Alison has to make the decision to keep riding the bus (bounce back to G in an infinite loop until you decide to go to paragraph (c)) or learn to drive at paragraph (C).

  (F) Alison learns to drive the standard way: it can go two ways: Alison is nervous, but functioning. Lee teaches her how to make a left hand turn. Eventually she is driving on roads and merging into different lanes and even driving on the freeway. Alison has independence. She can do things for Lee, like pick up groceries without making him go too. Alison can go to work and now worry about buying gas instead of taxi fares. But Alison needs to take the Tennessee state license test to move forward. Take the license test without driving school: go to paragraph (K) Like this? Go to paragraph (i).

(E) Alison called an Uber to pick her up for work. It is peak time for Ubers on Saturday at 12:00 p.m. Alison’s closing shift starts at 1:00 p.m. Alison already feels like she is running late one hour before her shift; that’s just her personality. The popularity in Uber caused the price to spike to $20 for a one-way trip to work. That is a lot of money for Alison. She books the ride anyway with little choice left. Fifteen minutes later, with forty-five minutes to her shift, a red SUV rolls up matching the description and license number. Sherri is her driver. Sherri looks like the woman in Uber’s profile. Sherri and Alison have a pleasant conversation about how nice the weather is in San Diego compared to Memphis (they don’t even salt their roads!). Fifteen minutes later, Alison arrives at the mall. She is not at her store yet. Alison has thirty minutes to get a coffee, to her store, and sip on her coffee while it is still hot. Alison is peculiar and likes to arrive to her place of wor...

(D) Alison works at her local mall on the other side of town. Usually, her husband drives her to work, but when he is working Alison is on her own. Alison has a direct bus route to the mall near her home, and she can walk to the bus stop easily. But taking the bus is challenging. Public transportation involves a lot of walking and waiting outside. This becomes exhausting, especially when Alison misses a bus or feels compelled to leave too early in order to not miss her bus. Being bound to public transportation limits Alison’s freedom. The bus routes are limited, and some don’t run on the weekend, causing Alison to spend more money than she would taking Uber to work on Saturdays. Traveling across town can take several hours. What does Alison do? Continue taking the bus to work. Scroll to paragraph (G) .

  (C) Alison takes and passes the written portion of the driving test. Now she has a learner’s permit. It is time for her to learn to drive. On a day off, Alison takes the wheel with her husband and now teacher in the passenger seat. They a parked in an empty parking lot to what once was a thriving mall. “You should be able to handle this much better than Susie,” said Lee. Susie the Subaru had been their SUV. Now they had a smaller sedan type car. “You just press the button to turn it on. You don’t even have to put the keys in the ignition.” Alison pressed the button and watched many lights turn on the dash and radio area. Lee showed Alison how to operate the windshield wipers, defroster, and blinker. Lee may have shown Alison other important details, but this story is written by a woman who does not know how to drive. So, please suspend disbelief and operate on the notion that Lee is a fine driving instructor and Alison learned many things. “Put the gear in drive. See, it is the ...

(B) Alison is diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. As an effect of Asperger’s syndrome, Alison has trouble processing large amounts of sensory information in a short amount of time. Alison does not notice half of the things her husband, Lee, sees while he drives and she is the passenger. This is why Alison has little faith in her ability to make well informed decisions on the road. Alison’s lack of faith in her ability to drive safely is upsetting to her. She believes that because she has Asperger’s, she truly is disabled from driving a car. But, Alison has places to go; she is a full time student and a part time retail employee. It is Friday morning and Alison has to go to work. Lee is working and Alison has to get to the mall by herself. You have a decision to make: Alison takes the city bus to work. Link to post (D). Alison takes Uber to work. Link to post (E).

  (A) Alison looks up the Tennessee State driver manual online and studies for the next week. Alison now deems herself ready for the written test in order to earn her learner’s permit. Link to post (C).

  This is a choose-your-own-adventure story. What happens next is your choice . Alison is a twenty-six-year-old married woman, and she has a decision to make. Alison can depend on her family for transportation to work and school, or she can take a risk and learn how to drive. Alison has a recurring dream of driving in unsafe situations. In the dreaming, Alison does not know how to use a blinker; she reaches for the wheel and pedals while her bum sits in the passenger seat. Alison wakes up feeling like she has no choice but to never drive. You have a choice: Alison reads the driving manual. Link to blog post (A). Alison rationalizes that because she is disabled, she must never drive. Link to blog post (N) (A) Alison looks up the Tennessee State driver manual online and studies for the next week. Alison now deems herself ready for the written test in order to earn her learner’s permit. Link to blog post (C) Alison’s lack of faith in her ability to drive safely upsets her. She belie...