Mama Malkavian's House

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Alison Rushing. Originally on WordPress. Welcome to my blog! I have attempted some blog concepts before, always promising that this will be my final blog. The difference with this one is that I have learned not to try to predict the future. I have no idea if this blog will be a success, or how I will define success. I used to define success by viral posts and enough clicks to bring in an income through AdSense. That never happened for me, but I tried. Now, I will be successful if I post consistently and make what I consider a quality blog, a website that is interesting, cohesive, and tells a story while offering something informative to my readers. I’m going to start with posting consistently. Even that is something I will have to build up to. Sasuke Malkavian (15 months), Sabrina Malkavian (4 years), Christmas 2024. Photo by Jamie Harmon at Amurica Portraits in Memphis, TN Right now, I am a stay-at-home mom with two pre-k children. I have read all these stor...

Afterward: When I was nine years old, I took the driving course at Legoland. Kids under thirteen could get in little brick cars and drive down roads and follow traffic lights on a safe course at two miles an hour. Then we all received a congratulations and provisional Legoland driver's license with a place for our name, year and a picture. After I took the Legoland driving course, I felt so motivated to drive for real that I counted the years until I turned sixteen! I was not aware of my limitations at the time. Not achieving freedom in the form of a driver's license bothered me my entire adult life. I had recurring dreams about attempting to drive a car in the wrong seat. I felt uneasy thinking about my situation throughout my life. I kept my Legoland driver's license I received when I was nine in my wallet as a joke. I had one made at Disney World too, when I was 29.  One time, I thought it was funny to bust out my Legoland driver's license with a sticker photo of eig...

(N) Nothing. Alison is dependent for the rest of her life. It sucks. Alison can't afford to take a taxi every time she wants to go somewhere, so she relies on her friends and family a lot.  Alison is left out of bible study. No one wants to drive out of their way to take her with them. She doesn't understand and feels rejected. (O) Proceed to practice driving. No medical intervention.     (Q) Big accident on the freeway. Everybody dies. (P) Go to the doctor.     Take meds at night, reduce Latuda. Take Maxwell Driving School. Go to (J)

  Alison made the right decision. Whether the rules were different or Alison just needed to review the study guide, she's ready to actually drive a car. It is time for Alison to enroll in driving school. She opts to not have a family member or friend teach her to drive because this is a sensitive operation and she needs the best of instructors: one who can help adults with anxiety.  Maxwell Driving School in Memphis, TN changed Alison's life. Four days of a road rule and driving technique lecture class helped Alison feel more ready to hit the road. The simulator was a weird experience. She hit so many virtual deer and the instructor told he she scored fast reactions anyhow. The XBOX system simulated the craziest driving scenarios. The professional road instructors made Alison feel safe and took her through guided routes with common driving situations, such as changing lanes and crossing streets. It feels like a miracle when Alison comes out of the ordeal with a license to driv...

(K) Alison had taken and passed the permit test. She'd driven with Lee. How hard could it be? Alison scheduled a road test with the DMV. Of course, it took her weeks to get this appointment because she likes to procrastinate; she's procrastinated for 10+ years of her adult life on getting a license by this point. Alison meets the test instructor. He asks her to flip her blinker left and right and trigger her wipers. Then it's time to press the brake. Alison has done this before, but she has to ask... which one is the brake, left or right? (Hint: B is for Big and B is for brake. It's also to the left) But, of course, Alison hadn't put enough time into practicing and fails the road test.  Of course she failed! Did you think it was ever going to be this simple? Just go to (M)

How hard can an Arkansas written test be? Alison has already passed the California and Tennessee permit tests before.  Alison fails the permit test! How embarrassing. Go back to paragraph (L) over and over until Alison gets a road manual and studies for the permit test. The proctor knows her well now. Let's move past this. Yes  M

  (i) Alison is driving alongside Shelby Farms one day. There is a lot of traffic, and people are pulling all the way up just to merge at the last minute. This creates a traffic jam and slows everyone down in the long run. A car tries to pull in front of Alison. Alison is not having it and doesn’t let the lady in front of her. The lady ends up right behind Alison and is giving her angry gestures with her fingers. Alison feels intimidated. Alison drives through the intersection and turns left toward Shelby Farms. There is a long stretch of road ahead of Alison. The woman is on her tail no matter how fast she goes to get away from the crazy lady. They are both speeding down the road. Finally, Alison realizes she has to slow down to turn safely at the end of the road. This is dangerous. Alison has an angry stranger following her, and she is alone. The minute she slows down, she feels a hard smack. Alison’s head hits the back of her chair. She wants to get out of the car and inspect t...

(J) First, Alison reads the Tennessee state driver manual. Then, Alison takes the written portion of the driving test and earns a learner’s permit.        Alison has moved to Arkansas by this point. She's taking a new permit test. It should be roughly the same rules as Tennessee, right? And it's Arkansas; how hard can it be? Does Alison study for the permit test?   No (L) Yes (M)

(H) Alison is driving five miles per hour and feels like she is speeding. She can barely move left or right unless she compensates and make a sharp turn. So she speeds forward at all of five miles an hour toward a brick wall at the side of the parking lot. Alison is totally wigging out now stop-going between the brakes and the pedal. It is not going well for Alison and she feels like she will never get past this level of driving. Go to paragraph (J) if Alison persists and enrolls in driving lessons for adults with anxiety. Alison gives up, scroll up to paragraph (B) But understand, if you go to paragraph (B) again, you will spend the next ten years worrying about how Alison can't drive. In those ten years, Alison has two babies and her mom begins to age. Eventually Mom will need rides to her appointments and Alison's kids will need rides to school and such.  While Alison is pregnant with her second child, she still doesn't have a license, and her mom is doing a lot of t...

  (G) The bus can be challenging. For instance, there are weird people on the bus, like the gothic dude in a long black trench coat whose therapist told him he needed to make more friends, so he tried to introduce himself shake Alison’s hand and find out what they had in common. Alison gets that people have problems and some are unique, but making friends on the city bus with no context was too much for her and she played it off like she was a germaphobe (totally not) and would not shake the weird man’s hand. There was also the time a man asked to buy her while she waited alone at a bus stop. Graphic much? Thematic? All true, but it really happened . Alison has to make the decision to keep riding the bus (bounce back to G in an infinite loop until you decide to go to paragraph (c)) or learn to drive at paragraph (C).

  (F) Alison learns to drive the standard way: it can go two ways: Alison is nervous, but functioning. Lee teaches her how to make a left hand turn. Eventually she is driving on roads and merging into different lanes and even driving on the freeway. Alison has independence. She can do things for Lee, like pick up groceries without making him go too. Alison can go to work and now worry about buying gas instead of taxi fares. But Alison needs to take the Tennessee state license test to move forward. Take the license test without driving school: go to paragraph (K) Like this? Go to paragraph (i).